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Monday, March 23, 2009
Week 7: Un-learning Pleasure
from Oscar Wilde:
I let myself be lured into long spells of senseless and sensual ease…Tired of being on the heights, I deliberately went to the depths in search for new sensation. I grew careless of the lives of others. I took pleasure where it pleased me, and passed on. I forgot that every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber, one has some day to cry aloud from the housetop. I ceased to be lord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it. I allowed pleasure to dominate me. I ended in horrible disgrace.
Charlie Hendrawan at 8:22 PM
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Thursday, February 26, 2009
Intermezzo - Snapshot from the past
1996 - Canisius High School. Those ol' good days...
Charlie Hendrawan at 1:58 PM
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Week 6: Un-learning Security
Henri Nouwen:
What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.
A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money"
Charlie Hendrawan at 9:06 PM
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Friday, February 06, 2009
Week 5: Un-break My Heart
That's the plea from Toni Braxton: "Unbreak my heart, say you'll love me again..." But I figured that if she really, really wished that to happen, she might want to say it first instead of waiting for her (ex?) other half to do so.
Having a broken home background, I used to feel that I have a broken heart myself. And like most people in that situation, I had all sort of things to blame but myself: the family, the parents, the financial situation, etc., and wished that if only things were better.
Well, unfortunately things are most likely not going to be any better until I accept the situation and how I'm just as responsible for the outcome as everyone else involved. And so I was un-learning my ignorance, and start doing more simple actions which I was unwilling to do before.
And yes, it works. Waiting and blaming do not bring us closer to the answer - unlike willing and beginning.
Charlie Hendrawan at 12:29 PM
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Week 4: Un-learning (Re)action
As much as we'd like to think that we're the most unique creation in the world, we do have a lot of things in common, and maybe more than we expected, one of them being the predictability of our actions and decisions over time. The like and dislike, the nature and nurture, the memory and sensory, the conscious and subconscious - all come into play in a mysterious way to set our path of preference. Once the path is set, it's not easy to choose the other path despite your desire, and therefore the trick here really is not to fall prey to our own habits and ultimately becoming a helpless victim of our situation. And in those struggles, we gradually recognise the reason behind our reaction, and so another journey of learning to unlearn begins.
Charlie Hendrawan at 11:44 PM
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Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Week 3: Un-learning Normality
This is the list of "normality" compiled by Paulo Coelho, which challenge the normality itself -a good un-learning exercise:
Inventory of normality
I decided to conduct a survey among my friends about what society considers to be normal behavior. What follows is a list I have made of some of the absurd situations we face in day-to-day life, just because society sees them as normal:
1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.
2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).
3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.
4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.
5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.
6] Using Botox.
7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.
8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.
9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.
10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.
11] Thinking that parents are always right.
12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).
12ª] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.
14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.
15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.
16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.
17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.
18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.
19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.
20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.
21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.
22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.
23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.
24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.
25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.
26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.
27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.
28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).
29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.
30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.
31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.
32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.
33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.
34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.
35] Using foul language in traffic.
36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.
37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society. Love can wait.
38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.
39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.
40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.
41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.
42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.
43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.
44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.
Charlie Hendrawan at 4:04 PM
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Sunday, December 21, 2008
Week 2: Un-cluttering Emails
The books need to wait their turn as I'm readying myself for my two-weeks trip to Germany, so the focus of this week is on emails. Put it simply, emails are both blessing and curse.
True, it's much more convenient to send things over email, plus they are free of charge, but considering the number of emails that clutters our inbox everyday, that convenience might be more part of the problem rather than the solution: we receive just too many of them, because it is too easy to send them in the first place, so we send everything that comes in our way: the news, the jokes, the latest gossips, the vouchers, the games, the links, and what have you. And so emails unnecessarily fills a big chunk of our time.
The most effective ways of handling emails that I learned so far are:
(1) to act immediately after reading them, i.e. decide whether to reply, park to to-reply folder, store in the right folder, or delete. Therefore the inbox should always be empty afterwards.
(2) to allocate time to read and reply emails, especially in the office, where we're tempted to read emails everytime they arrive. Emails then become constant distraction; lowering focus and concentration of whatever tasks you have at hand.
Having said that, I'm still learning to give a quick reply, so if you're sending email to me, please be patient and don't hesitate to send a reminder.
Charlie Hendrawan at 2:20 AM
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| ... and so goes Life |
| We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time |
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